Saying no or don't to a child is not a right way in a particular moment. But, you must say no or say don't on a special occasion.
Why do I tell you that saying no to a kid is not a proper way at a certain point? Because the average kids hear the word "no" many times a day, so the word "no" can become ineffective. Therefore, parents have to look for alternative ways to say no to the children.
In this article, I will tell you how to stop saying no or stop saying don't to your child. Below, I will inform you step by step to enhance communication with your child how to prohibit something without saying no. After reading this; I hope you will know how to stop saying no and alternative ways saying no to your child.
Home sweet home. Every day in our home, we do all the activities together. In our life with the kids, we have some good experiences and sometimes have a bad one.
If you have good communication skills especially communication with your children, you will have a lot of ways to prohibit them not to do something. But if you don't have this skill, it is hard to look for another way to show your request to them.
In our daily activities with kids, most of the time we use the word "stop", "no", "don't", etc. For example:
- Stop hitting your sister!
- Don't eat with your mouth open!
- Don't leave your toys here!
- Stop playing!
The worse thing is if you say these command angrily. Why? Because anger makes you unhealthy. That's why I note this article for you so that you can develop the confidence to communicate to your children instead of leading to impatience for you and your kids.
The next question is,"how to build this trust and empower it so I can communication with my children in a respectful way?".
The answer (and this is the ultimate theory) is, by comprehending the psychology of the children, then bring out the best in them.
If you have known the method above you will be confident to make an agreement with your kids, you will negotiate with them promptly, and the most important thing is you know how to say no in a humble way instead of angrily saying "don't do that" or "stop it."
Example in daily life
The situation: You find dirty clothes on the floor, and you see the living room in a mess.
Your response:
You talk to the kids,"Why do you leave your dirty clothes on the floor?"
"Don't do it anymore!"
Instead of saying like this, you should give them a challenge.
For example:
If you see your kids playing in the living room and start making the room in a mess, tell them a statement like these:
"Help me pick out 35 oranges from the fridge; I am sure you can do that."
"Would you like to swap the floor or put the toys in that box?"
"Well, I know that you have tried how to use a broom, would you like to show me that you can do that?"
It means allowing a child to make a choice between two acceptable actions.
Example:
The situation:
You see that your kids are playing, and you want them to stop playing and start studying.
Your response:
Stop playing now!
Instead of saying this, it is better you give them a choice like an example below:
"What will you choose, you will finish playing in 5 minutes or 10 minutes?"
Example:
The situation:
Your kids are throwing their clothes on the floor.
A false response is,"Don't throw your shirt on the floor!"
The better responses are like below:
"Put the clothes this way." (You tell them while exemplifying them the right way)
You can try a subsequent declaration.
Example:
The situation:
Your kids want to watch a video, but you want them to pick up the toys in the living room.
A false response:
"No, don't watch TV!"
The correct response is using the 'first-then' statement like below:
"First, collect the toys, put them in that box, and then you may watch TV."
or use another way like,"Yes, after putting your toys in the box, you can watch TV."
You can inform the kids what your feeling is. You can tell them with simple phrases to help them understand why they make you feel bad.
For example:
"You hurt my eyes when you leave dirty clothes on the floor. Please put them in this way."
It means you can use positive language. For example:
Instead of saying "Don't climb on the box!", you can use alternative narrative like "Please keep your feet on the floor."
Positive behavior that can prevent your child misbehaves or behave badly.
a. As a parent, you have to give the guidelines or rules in your home. Create a clear direction so that your children clearly understand.
b. Parents must follow and implement the guideline consistently. They have to communicate and express this matter to the children.
c. In a creating a rules phase, you must listen to the children. Listen to their opinion. Respect them so they will respect you.
d. Talk positively about your kids to others. For example: "Hi uncle, I am happy. Can you see Bob (mention your child's name here clearly)? He can use a broom to clean the floor."
e. Modeling principle. Perform this principle consistently and let your children see your action. Model a behavior you want then show the child by an example.
f. Privacy.
The most important thing to remember is, never embarrass your kid in front of others (even his brother or his sister). You can move to a private room to talk with him.
g. Never judge the children in a hurry.
Give them time. Help them to remember because the children are easily distracted. The thing you must do is, help him remember what you asked him to do.
With a positive language, you build a foundation of trust, kindness, and respect.
When you nurture a child with respect, he will treat you with respect also.
Shift a language to communicate with your child, while transform in positive language might seem small; it has a significant positive change in your relationship with the child.
See another parenting tips.
Why do I tell you that saying no to a kid is not a proper way at a certain point? Because the average kids hear the word "no" many times a day, so the word "no" can become ineffective. Therefore, parents have to look for alternative ways to say no to the children.
In this article, I will tell you how to stop saying no or stop saying don't to your child. Below, I will inform you step by step to enhance communication with your child how to prohibit something without saying no. After reading this; I hope you will know how to stop saying no and alternative ways saying no to your child.
Preface
Home sweet home. Every day in our home, we do all the activities together. In our life with the kids, we have some good experiences and sometimes have a bad one.
If you have good communication skills especially communication with your children, you will have a lot of ways to prohibit them not to do something. But if you don't have this skill, it is hard to look for another way to show your request to them.
In our daily activities with kids, most of the time we use the word "stop", "no", "don't", etc. For example:
- Stop hitting your sister!
- Don't eat with your mouth open!
- Don't leave your toys here!
- Stop playing!
The worse thing is if you say these command angrily. Why? Because anger makes you unhealthy. That's why I note this article for you so that you can develop the confidence to communicate to your children instead of leading to impatience for you and your kids.
The next question is,"how to build this trust and empower it so I can communication with my children in a respectful way?".
The answer (and this is the ultimate theory) is, by comprehending the psychology of the children, then bring out the best in them.
If you have known the method above you will be confident to make an agreement with your kids, you will negotiate with them promptly, and the most important thing is you know how to say no in a humble way instead of angrily saying "don't do that" or "stop it."
Simple Methods to say no in a respectful way to your kids
a. Describing the challenge instead to complain about the problem
Example in daily life
The situation: You find dirty clothes on the floor, and you see the living room in a mess.
Your response:
You talk to the kids,"Why do you leave your dirty clothes on the floor?"
"Don't do it anymore!"
Instead of saying like this, you should give them a challenge.
For example:
If you see your kids playing in the living room and start making the room in a mess, tell them a statement like these:
"Help me pick out 35 oranges from the fridge; I am sure you can do that."
"Would you like to swap the floor or put the toys in that box?"
"Well, I know that you have tried how to use a broom, would you like to show me that you can do that?"
b. Giving choice to re-focus their attention
It means allowing a child to make a choice between two acceptable actions.
Example:
The situation:
You see that your kids are playing, and you want them to stop playing and start studying.
Your response:
Stop playing now!
Instead of saying this, it is better you give them a choice like an example below:
"What will you choose, you will finish playing in 5 minutes or 10 minutes?"
c. Share what you need instead of what you don't want
Example:
The situation:
Your kids are throwing their clothes on the floor.
A false response is,"Don't throw your shirt on the floor!"
The better responses are like below:
"Put the clothes this way." (You tell them while exemplifying them the right way)
d. Using "first-then" statement
You can try a subsequent declaration.
Example:
The situation:
Your kids want to watch a video, but you want them to pick up the toys in the living room.
A false response:
"No, don't watch TV!"
The correct response is using the 'first-then' statement like below:
"First, collect the toys, put them in that box, and then you may watch TV."
or use another way like,"Yes, after putting your toys in the box, you can watch TV."
e. Share your feeling
You can inform the kids what your feeling is. You can tell them with simple phrases to help them understand why they make you feel bad.
For example:
"You hurt my eyes when you leave dirty clothes on the floor. Please put them in this way."
f. Using alternative statement
It means you can use positive language. For example:
Instead of saying "Don't climb on the box!", you can use alternative narrative like "Please keep your feet on the floor."
Simple methods to make a child has a good manner
a. As a parent, you have to give the guidelines or rules in your home. Create a clear direction so that your children clearly understand.
b. Parents must follow and implement the guideline consistently. They have to communicate and express this matter to the children.
c. In a creating a rules phase, you must listen to the children. Listen to their opinion. Respect them so they will respect you.
d. Talk positively about your kids to others. For example: "Hi uncle, I am happy. Can you see Bob (mention your child's name here clearly)? He can use a broom to clean the floor."
e. Modeling principle. Perform this principle consistently and let your children see your action. Model a behavior you want then show the child by an example.
f. Privacy.
The most important thing to remember is, never embarrass your kid in front of others (even his brother or his sister). You can move to a private room to talk with him.
g. Never judge the children in a hurry.
Give them time. Help them to remember because the children are easily distracted. The thing you must do is, help him remember what you asked him to do.
Bottom line
When you nurture a child with respect, he will treat you with respect also.
Shift a language to communicate with your child, while transform in positive language might seem small; it has a significant positive change in your relationship with the child.
See another parenting tips.
